Last week Friday I decided to take the boys to Warman for a quick shopping trip....never again! Not because of the expensive prices, but because of the trauma that came out of the shopping experience. If I'm alone with the boys I only grocery shop at Superstore or Costco for the primary reason that they have double-seated carts. There is no way I would be able to shop and have Benjamin running free...it would be disastrous and extremely stressful! But the grocery store in Warman only has one-seated carts...the two level kind of carts. So I decided for this one time I would let Ben sit in the bottom level of the cart. He was doing really good at sitting in the bottom so I was pretty happy with the experience...till...he was playing with a box of cereal and it slipped out of his hands and he flipped out of the cart after it...flat on his back slamming his head on the hard cement floor. It was one of the most terrifying moments so far as a parent! And did he ever scream...and scream...and scream!! And he clung to me as he never has before. It took all my might to keep the tears back, as my heart just broke for him and the pain (or just the fright) he was experiencing. Having your child hurt is a feeling that is unexplainable...it's a horrible horrible feeling of pain!
And as I'm walking around the store with this 2 year old clung around my waist...wailing...I couldn't help but feel immense GUILT for what was happening. I knew that it wasn't a good idea to put him in the cart, but yet because I didn't feel like I had another choice at the time, I did it anyways. All I could think about was what if he would have permanent damage from this fall? What if he had a internal bleed? Imagine the GUILT then? I've often felt guilt as a parent, but never this strong of guilt. After about an hour he settled down and was absolutely fine the rest of the day.
But the next day was another story. We woke him up in the morning because he already had slept way past his normal wake time...and I was nervous about him having a concussion. He woke in a wretched mood! He's not a morning person, but this was not his normal morning mood...something was up. He wouldn't eat or drink and he had a fever. After a dose of Tylenol he seemed to perk up, so we weren't too worried. I think the nurses in us maybe don't worry enough...and I don't want to be one of those people that run their kids to the ER for small petty reasons. So we just kept him at home and he seemed okay. But by the time he got up from his afternoon nap, something was seeming to be obviously wrong. He immediately asked to lay on the couch...not like Ben at all...his fever was up again and then he started complaining about his eyes hurting...and then out of no wheres his nose started to drip clear fluid. Then the nurse fear set in...was something really wrong and we left it too long?!! Even more GUILT set in! I packed him in the car and rushed him to the ER...by the time we saw the nurse and then waited another 3 hours to see a doctor his fever had gone down and he was feeling a lot better. Thank goodness. So, in the end thankfully everything is fine with his head...it took a day or two, but he's back to normal now. And he was diagnosed early with tonsillitis, so that's why he had the fevers and had no appetite.
I've learned my lesson with carts...and the fear of something happening again (and the guilt that I felt) definitely will make me never do it again. I guess if other grocery stores want my business in the next year or so, they are going to have to change their carts!
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